Solat itu sukarela.
Seseorang yang mengenal Tuhannya akan mahu solat. Mahu tunduk, mahu memuji, merayu dan memujuk Tuhannya.
Maka carilah Tuhanmu. Kenali dan fahami Dia melalui ciptaanNya.
Sungguh Tuhanmu lebih dekat denganmu daripada urat lehermu sendiri.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
CUTI PANJANG
Bermula daripada 18 Februari sehinggalah hari ini aku bercuti. Dah hampir lima bulan. (Lama tuu.. tapi kenapa rasa sekejap je ye?) Cuti ini bukanlah cuti yang kosong, mungkin juga cuti yang paling 'berisi' dalam hidup aku.
Bulan pertama aku bercuti atas sebab perubatan, MC. Ceritanya pada pagi Isnin bertarikh 18 Februari itu aku mengalami pendarahan. Aku ingat lagi dalam perjalanan ke hospital aku dengar lagu Jason Mraz. Nak tenangkan perasaan yang sedikit cemas kerana ada kemungkinan aku nak bersalin hari tu.
Walaupun simptom nak bersalin dah ada, doktor bagi ubat untuk kurangkan. Seboleh-bolehnya dia mahu kandungan aku cukup bulan sebelum bersalin (due date 30 Mac) untuk pastikan paru-paru bayi kuat dan tak banyak masalah nanti. Doktor juga bagi MC supaya aku dapat rehat di rumah. Oleh sebab hampir tiap-tiap malam aku alami 'contraction' aku terus ber'MC' sampai sebulan.
Yasmin lahir betul-betul sebulan selepas itu iaitu pada 18 Mac, jam 5.37 petang.
*Yasmin, tiga bulan, botak!
Pengalaman bersalin normal sukar diceritakan. Sakit memang sakit, tapi kalau tanya aku sekarang macam mana rasa sakit tuh, aku sendiri dah tak ingat. Yang aku ingat ialah perasaan takut tak dapat jumpa Yasmin serta orang-orang tersayang yang lain masa aku dibiuskan untuk rawatan kecemasan, akibat pendarahan selepas bersalin. Satu ketakutan yang menginsafkan dan mengingatkan aku tentang siapa sebenarnya yang memegang kuasa terbesar untuk memutuskan segalanya dalam kehidupanku.
Tiga bulan seterusnya adalah cuti bersalin termasuk 45 hari berpantang. Pengalaman berpantang juga menarik sebab aku merasai sendiri bagaimana badan yang lemah (yang pada awalnya aku rasa macam tak boleh nak baik) menjadi kuat dan sihat sedikit demi sedikit.
Tempoh pantang diakhiri dengan PRU ke-13 pada 5 Mei. Jangan marah.. aku tak pergi mengundi.. ngehh..
Habis berpantang di rumah abah dan mama, aku dan Yasmin balik ke rumah kami dan bermulalah episod aku menjaga Yasmin sendiri. Pada awalnya takut-takut juga terutamanya bab nak mandikan si kecil ni, tapi sekarang dah biasa dah. Yasmin pun suka mandi. Diam je tak nangis pun. Baik anak mama.
Sepatutnya aku mula kerja pertengahan bulan lepas, tapi aku sambung cuti lagi. 46 hari cuti tahunan dan tiga bulan cuti tanpa gaji. Makanya aku hanya akan mula bekerja November nanti. Jangan jeles.. ngeehh..
Keputusan untuk ambil cuti panjang ni sebab aku nak jaga Yasmin sendiri. Sekurang-kurangnya hingga dia 'besar' sikit untuk hantar ke nursery. Itu rancangan buat masa sekarang, tengoklah kalau ada rezeki dapat seorang pembantu, mungkin tok abah dan tok mamanya boleh tolong jagakan. Sementara itu, kenalah mula cari nursery yang sesuai.
Selain menjaga Yasmin, cuti panjang ini aku harap dapat buat sesuatu yang berfaedah. Banyak yang aku rancang nak buat tapi hasilnya kena tunggu dan lihat. Semuanya bergantung pada disiplin diri sendiri yang selama ini tak seberapa disiplinnya.
Mungkin juga matlamat mendisiplinkan diri itu patut dimasukkan dan diletakkan paling atas dalam 'what to do list' aku. :-p
Signing off dulu.. nanti sambung cerita..
Selamat malam..
Bulan pertama aku bercuti atas sebab perubatan, MC. Ceritanya pada pagi Isnin bertarikh 18 Februari itu aku mengalami pendarahan. Aku ingat lagi dalam perjalanan ke hospital aku dengar lagu Jason Mraz. Nak tenangkan perasaan yang sedikit cemas kerana ada kemungkinan aku nak bersalin hari tu.
Walaupun simptom nak bersalin dah ada, doktor bagi ubat untuk kurangkan. Seboleh-bolehnya dia mahu kandungan aku cukup bulan sebelum bersalin (due date 30 Mac) untuk pastikan paru-paru bayi kuat dan tak banyak masalah nanti. Doktor juga bagi MC supaya aku dapat rehat di rumah. Oleh sebab hampir tiap-tiap malam aku alami 'contraction' aku terus ber'MC' sampai sebulan.
Yasmin lahir betul-betul sebulan selepas itu iaitu pada 18 Mac, jam 5.37 petang.
Pengalaman bersalin normal sukar diceritakan. Sakit memang sakit, tapi kalau tanya aku sekarang macam mana rasa sakit tuh, aku sendiri dah tak ingat. Yang aku ingat ialah perasaan takut tak dapat jumpa Yasmin serta orang-orang tersayang yang lain masa aku dibiuskan untuk rawatan kecemasan, akibat pendarahan selepas bersalin. Satu ketakutan yang menginsafkan dan mengingatkan aku tentang siapa sebenarnya yang memegang kuasa terbesar untuk memutuskan segalanya dalam kehidupanku.
Tiga bulan seterusnya adalah cuti bersalin termasuk 45 hari berpantang. Pengalaman berpantang juga menarik sebab aku merasai sendiri bagaimana badan yang lemah (yang pada awalnya aku rasa macam tak boleh nak baik) menjadi kuat dan sihat sedikit demi sedikit.
Tempoh pantang diakhiri dengan PRU ke-13 pada 5 Mei. Jangan marah.. aku tak pergi mengundi.. ngehh..
Habis berpantang di rumah abah dan mama, aku dan Yasmin balik ke rumah kami dan bermulalah episod aku menjaga Yasmin sendiri. Pada awalnya takut-takut juga terutamanya bab nak mandikan si kecil ni, tapi sekarang dah biasa dah. Yasmin pun suka mandi. Diam je tak nangis pun. Baik anak mama.
Sepatutnya aku mula kerja pertengahan bulan lepas, tapi aku sambung cuti lagi. 46 hari cuti tahunan dan tiga bulan cuti tanpa gaji. Makanya aku hanya akan mula bekerja November nanti. Jangan jeles.. ngeehh..
Keputusan untuk ambil cuti panjang ni sebab aku nak jaga Yasmin sendiri. Sekurang-kurangnya hingga dia 'besar' sikit untuk hantar ke nursery. Itu rancangan buat masa sekarang, tengoklah kalau ada rezeki dapat seorang pembantu, mungkin tok abah dan tok mamanya boleh tolong jagakan. Sementara itu, kenalah mula cari nursery yang sesuai.
Selain menjaga Yasmin, cuti panjang ini aku harap dapat buat sesuatu yang berfaedah. Banyak yang aku rancang nak buat tapi hasilnya kena tunggu dan lihat. Semuanya bergantung pada disiplin diri sendiri yang selama ini tak seberapa disiplinnya.
Mungkin juga matlamat mendisiplinkan diri itu patut dimasukkan dan diletakkan paling atas dalam 'what to do list' aku. :-p
Signing off dulu.. nanti sambung cerita..
Selamat malam..
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Yasmin
According to wikipedia, Yasmin is an old Persian word which refer to white flowers, also known as Jasmine or Melur in Bahasa Melayu.
To my daughter Yasmin Marzukhi, the name Yasmin is mama and ayah's prayer for you.
May you have a pure heart like the whiteness of a the yasmin flower. May you blossom beautifully and fill the world especially people around with your sweet scent.
Most importantly, Yasmin is a flower, a creature of the earth. Like all earth creatures, they proudly and gratefully accepted who they are, (even those tiny ants), and play their parts in this world diligently. They are always humble and have taqwa to Allah. We pray, as your name symbolizes the earth element, that you will emulate and practice these good attributes at all times in your life.
Take note that you don't have to be like anyone else. You only have to be the best of yourself, Insya Allah.
Mama loves you sayang.. muuahh!
To my daughter Yasmin Marzukhi, the name Yasmin is mama and ayah's prayer for you.
May you have a pure heart like the whiteness of a the yasmin flower. May you blossom beautifully and fill the world especially people around with your sweet scent.
Most importantly, Yasmin is a flower, a creature of the earth. Like all earth creatures, they proudly and gratefully accepted who they are, (even those tiny ants), and play their parts in this world diligently. They are always humble and have taqwa to Allah. We pray, as your name symbolizes the earth element, that you will emulate and practice these good attributes at all times in your life.
Take note that you don't have to be like anyone else. You only have to be the best of yourself, Insya Allah.
Mama loves you sayang.. muuahh!
making things hard on ourselves
I wonder why we human or Muslims like to make things hard on ourselves.
The rules and guidelines in the Quran, are stated simple, precise and easy enough to understand, but why we like to make things hard on ourselves? Many prefer to follow humanly opinions that are harder to practice, made more complicated and more detailed, and sometimes get a little too far from the Quran's explanations.
Why? Is it because they (the Quran's verses/explanations) are too simple? sound too general? too easy? that we Muslims don't feel satisfied with the Quran?
Number one rule of a sahih hadith is that it should never, ever, defer from the Quran. And the Quran should always comes first. So, why we worry too much on what the ulamak's assumption/assessment of what the Rasullah had said or thought, when the Quran is there to verify and clear most matters.
The Muslims community has become solely depended on the ulamak's opinions. We treat the ulamak kitab/books like law. We discourage other Muslims to read the Quran tafsir by themselves, afraid that they might form opinions that are different from the ulamaks.
We, the Muslims, can never thrive if we continue to be this way. The blooming development of knowledge and technology was made possible by the Muslims in the early years of Islam civilization because it was free from this kind of creativity 'barrier'. But when the Islamic community, the sunni namely, established the so called four main school of ulamak, the development of knowledge and technology showed a decrease and later on was taken by other civilizations. We Muslims had ever since become trapped by the schools' or the ulamaks' disposition.
Many might not agree with me. Some would think I am not qualified to write this and my opinion is merely an opinon of a 'jahil', a fool's fancy. Think whatever you like, if you ever THINK at all.
~ I declare that I am not an anti hadith ~
The rules and guidelines in the Quran, are stated simple, precise and easy enough to understand, but why we like to make things hard on ourselves? Many prefer to follow humanly opinions that are harder to practice, made more complicated and more detailed, and sometimes get a little too far from the Quran's explanations.
Why? Is it because they (the Quran's verses/explanations) are too simple? sound too general? too easy? that we Muslims don't feel satisfied with the Quran?
Number one rule of a sahih hadith is that it should never, ever, defer from the Quran. And the Quran should always comes first. So, why we worry too much on what the ulamak's assumption/assessment of what the Rasullah had said or thought, when the Quran is there to verify and clear most matters.
The Muslims community has become solely depended on the ulamak's opinions. We treat the ulamak kitab/books like law. We discourage other Muslims to read the Quran tafsir by themselves, afraid that they might form opinions that are different from the ulamaks.
We, the Muslims, can never thrive if we continue to be this way. The blooming development of knowledge and technology was made possible by the Muslims in the early years of Islam civilization because it was free from this kind of creativity 'barrier'. But when the Islamic community, the sunni namely, established the so called four main school of ulamak, the development of knowledge and technology showed a decrease and later on was taken by other civilizations. We Muslims had ever since become trapped by the schools' or the ulamaks' disposition.
Many might not agree with me. Some would think I am not qualified to write this and my opinion is merely an opinon of a 'jahil', a fool's fancy. Think whatever you like, if you ever THINK at all.
~ I declare that I am not an anti hadith ~
Monday, March 25, 2013
Selamat Datang Yasmin
Looking it from my point of view, Yasmin's arrival into this world is accompanied with fear.
I delivered her, by normal labor, at around 5.37 pm on March 18 2013, after about an hour of pure pain.
When she safely came out, someone (a nurse probably) put her on my chest, unfortunately facing the other side so I could not see her face properly and I am 400++ rabun, so everything was blurry for me. I was too tired to move my hand to hold her but I remember saying "aaa baby" and feeling awfully grateful and relief.
However, too soon, she was taken away. I only saw her again 5 hours after that.
What happen was that I was bleeding badly. The doctor had to reopen my stitches and check for any leftover biblical cord/uri inside the rahim. The procedure required me to be in total unconsciousness. I was asked to sign a form, strolled to the operation room and was induced with the sleeping drug.
The journey to the operation room probably took less than 2 or 3 minutes (they pushed quite fast) but it was the longest period of fear I have ever felt. Along the way I recognised my mother, my mother in law, and my husband's shapes (orang rabun la katakan..) standing together. My mother said something to me but I could not remember what. I was thinking "What if I will not see them again? I haven't got a chance for a proper goodbye and I didn't even know how my baby looks like.."
Finally I was inside the operation room. I was told to breath on a gas. So I breath. By each inhale I realised how powerless I was. I detested the situation so much, but I could not do anything about it. My fate is totally up to Allah. Fear of not being able to see my love ones for just one more time overwhelmed me by each second. Then, nothingness.
When I woke up again I made sure I did not fall into slumber again, not until I got Yasmin in my arm.
And today, is Yasmin's seventh day in the world. Alhamdullilah, she escaped the jaundice threat, able to drink milk from her mama and from the feeding bottle. Sleeps well and poo well.
Welcome to the world my dearest daughter.
Bringing you to the world is like being born again myself.
I delivered her, by normal labor, at around 5.37 pm on March 18 2013, after about an hour of pure pain.
When she safely came out, someone (a nurse probably) put her on my chest, unfortunately facing the other side so I could not see her face properly and I am 400++ rabun, so everything was blurry for me. I was too tired to move my hand to hold her but I remember saying "aaa baby" and feeling awfully grateful and relief.
However, too soon, she was taken away. I only saw her again 5 hours after that.
What happen was that I was bleeding badly. The doctor had to reopen my stitches and check for any leftover biblical cord/uri inside the rahim. The procedure required me to be in total unconsciousness. I was asked to sign a form, strolled to the operation room and was induced with the sleeping drug.
The journey to the operation room probably took less than 2 or 3 minutes (they pushed quite fast) but it was the longest period of fear I have ever felt. Along the way I recognised my mother, my mother in law, and my husband's shapes (orang rabun la katakan..) standing together. My mother said something to me but I could not remember what. I was thinking "What if I will not see them again? I haven't got a chance for a proper goodbye and I didn't even know how my baby looks like.."
Finally I was inside the operation room. I was told to breath on a gas. So I breath. By each inhale I realised how powerless I was. I detested the situation so much, but I could not do anything about it. My fate is totally up to Allah. Fear of not being able to see my love ones for just one more time overwhelmed me by each second. Then, nothingness.
When I woke up again I made sure I did not fall into slumber again, not until I got Yasmin in my arm.
And today, is Yasmin's seventh day in the world. Alhamdullilah, she escaped the jaundice threat, able to drink milk from her mama and from the feeding bottle. Sleeps well and poo well.
Welcome to the world my dearest daughter.
Bringing you to the world is like being born again myself.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
kisah harta di bawah rumah pusaka
Seorang pengkaji sejarah yang sangat berkelayakan (dia ada berpuluh-puluh kajian Phd dan menulis beratus-ratus buku dan hasil ilmiah), malah beliau juga dikenali sebagai orang yang sangat jujur dan amanah serta berakhlak mulia, memberitahu seorang lelaki namanya Din, bahawa 200 tahun dahulu 'tokyang' si Din ini, bernama Siti Wan Kuncup, telah BERKATA bahawa di bawah rumah pusaka yang keluarga Din tinggal sekarang ada tersimpannya harta karun.
Bagaimanapun tidak dibenarkan menggali walaupun sedikit apatah lagi mengambil harta itu kerana ia akan mengakibatkan kampung tempat mereka tinggal diilanda gempa bumi dasyat dan seluruh penduduk kampung serta orang-orang di sekitarnya mati tercekik.
Din memang pernah membaca tentang toknya yang bernama Siti Wan Kuncup (a.k.a SWK) itu dalam buku-buku sejarah. Beliau memang dikenali sebagai seorang hartawan wanita yang kaya-raya lagi masyur. Tapi along the way, hartanya hilang entah ke mana, lalu keluarga Din hidup secara sederhana sahaja sama macam orang kampung lain.
Din tanya pengkaji sejarah tadi (let's give him a name, let's say Prof Jo) bagaimana kamu pasti SWK ada berkata demikian Prof Jo? Sudah 200 tahun berlalu, setahu saya tiada sebarang surat atau wasiat ditulis oleh beliau.
Prof Jo berkata, kata-kata yang disampaikan oleh SWK itu telah didengarinya daripada tok guru silat kampung iaitu Pakcik A. Pakcik A kata beliau diberitahu oleh tok gurunya Pakcik B manakala Pakcik B oleh C, dan D sehinggalah Pakcik E yang mendengar sendiri kata-kata SWK. Pakcik E dan SWK adalah sepupu dan dikatakan selalu main congkak sama-sama, so, masa tu lah Pakcik E dengar SWK berkata-kata demikian.
Prof Jo kata beliau telah membuat kaji selidik mengenai semua pakcik-pakcik ini, dan mendapati kesemua mereka semasa hidupnya adalah orang baik dan dipandang mulia, almaklumlah tok guru silat, jadi tak mungkin mereka berbohong. Lagipun memang banyak buku sejarah menulis bahawa SWK adalah seorang wanita raya kerana sepanjang hidupnya beliau pernah berkahwin dengan beberapa pedagang kaya dan pembesar istana. Malah senarai suaminya itu pun ada direkodkan oleh buku sejarah.
Jadi, fikir Din, secara logiknya tak mustahil bawah rumah pusaka itu ada harta karun, tapi bagaimana pula dengan 'warning' SWK bahawasanya ia tak boleh digali walau sedikit pun, nanti jadi gempa bumi dan orang mati tercekik? Sanggupkah nak ambil risiko tersebut? Macam mana kalau betul? Tak ke kesian orang kampung?
So, kalau anda jadi Din, adakah anda akan percaya apa yang dikatakan oleh Prof Jo? Tak mahukah anda tengok betul ke tidak ada harta karun di bawah rumah pusaka anda atau anda biarkan saja sebab takut akan berlaku gempa bumi dan orang mati tercekik?
:-p
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