Monday, March 25, 2013

Selamat Datang Yasmin

Looking it from my point of view, Yasmin's arrival into this world is accompanied with fear.

I delivered her, by normal labor, at around 5.37 pm on March 18 2013, after about an hour of pure pain.

When she safely came out, someone (a nurse probably) put her on my chest, unfortunately facing the other side so I could not see her face properly and I am 400++ rabun, so everything was blurry for me.  I was too tired to move my hand to hold her but I remember saying "aaa baby" and feeling awfully grateful and relief.

However, too soon, she was taken away. I only saw her again 5 hours after that.

What happen was that I was bleeding badly. The doctor had to reopen my stitches and check for any leftover biblical cord/uri inside the rahim. The procedure required me to be in total unconsciousness. I was asked to sign a form, strolled to the operation room and was induced with the sleeping drug.

The journey to the operation room probably took less than 2 or 3 minutes (they pushed quite fast) but it was the longest period of fear I have ever felt. Along the way I recognised my mother, my mother in law, and my husband's shapes (orang rabun la katakan..) standing together. My mother said something to me but I could not remember what.  I was thinking "What if I will not see them again? I haven't got a chance for a proper goodbye and I didn't even know how my baby looks like.."

Finally I was inside the operation room. I was told to breath on a gas. So I breath. By each inhale I realised how powerless I was. I detested the situation so much, but I could not do anything about it. My fate is totally up to Allah. Fear of not being able to see my love ones for just one more time overwhelmed me by each second. Then, nothingness.

When I woke up again I made sure I did not fall into slumber again, not until I got Yasmin in my arm.

And today, is Yasmin's seventh day in the world. Alhamdullilah, she escaped the jaundice threat, able to drink milk from her mama and from the feeding bottle. Sleeps well and poo well.

Welcome to the world my dearest daughter.

Bringing you to the world is like being born again myself.